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Some of the users there surf with screen names that specify their sexual role: "top" or "bottom." Among Arabs, it seems, a mix of stigma and machismo steers gay men toward the former. I met him in one such forum, called Arab Gay Love, e-cruising for new friends and partners.
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It's the perfect solution," says Samir, adding that he wouldn't mind a lesbian wife of his own.įor Samir, the dozens of emerging Web forums for gay Arab men are a freer alternative to the offline Saudi society. "There is a gay group of girls in Saudi looking for gay men to marry. In line with sex-segregated social norms, gay lovers can often spend intimate time together without arousing suspicion.īut gays and lesbians in Saudi Arabia still need to accommodate the pressures of public life, in some cases pairing off to accommodate a freer lifestyle. Gay men can go cruising - a term for picking up partners - and socialize in male-only sections of cafes and restaurants. In Saudi Arabia, where men and women are strictly separated, there is some space for gay life. "Unless it's a VIP house - if the party is at the home of one of the princes or one of the sheiks then you're protected."
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"I've been invited to private parties for gay men in Jeddah, but I never go because I know what would happen if we were caught," Samir told ABC News. In a recent case they apprehended one man at a Jeddah shopping mall, suspecting he was gay from his tight jeans and fitted shirt. Arrests by the religious police are far more arbitrary. Homosexuality is illegal in Saudi Arabia, but the charge calls for four witnesses to make a case. He and his friends are constantly wary of officers from the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, the kingdom's religious police, who patrol for and punish men they suspect of being gay. Samir occasionally goes to Saudi cafes known to be popular gay hangouts, but his public engagements stop there. "Before you make a move you have to think." "You can't let a word slip that makes you seem gay-friendly or gay," he says. At work, Samir watches his words, careful not to arouse the suspicion of colleagues. They constantly set him up with women they consider potential wives. He says his mom would kill herself if she found out. Samir's parents don't know of his lifestyle.
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To feel free he takes long vacations to Thailand, where he has a boyfriend, and spends weekends in Lebanon, which he regards as having a more gay-tolerant society.īut at home in Saudi Arabia, he is vigilant. Samir, like many gay men in the Arab world, guards his sexual orientation with a paranoid secrecy. But I know that I'm gay and I'm living as one, so I can't see a clear vision for the future." "I pray to God to help me be straight, just to avoid hell. I know it's forbidden, but I can't help it," he tells ABC News, clearly conflicted. He lives in Mecca, the holiest city according to Islam, and is acutely aware of the stigma that surrounds his gay lifestyle. When using a search engine such as Google, Bing or Yahoo check the safe search settings where you can exclude adult content sites from your search results Īsk your internet service provider if they offer additional filters īe responsible, know what your children are doing online.DUBAI, United Arab Emirates, - For Samir*, a 34-year-old gay man living in Saudi Arabia, each day is a denial. Use family filters of your operating systems and/or browsers
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